You're not Going to "Ruin" your own Notebook

📓On overcoming the creative block of perfectionism.

A blank page.

Every day before school, at 6 AM, I would crawl into my parents’ bed while they got ready for the day to watch Arthur on PBS. If you weren’t a PBS kid, Arthur is a children’s television show¹ about an 8 year old aardvark and his adventures in growing up. With a cast of anthropomorphic characters from a variety of backgrounds (and species), Arthur episodes explore the themes of problem solving, conflict resolution, celebrating differences, and cultivating a love for reading². (Having fun, isn’t hard, when you’ve got a library card!) The 30 minute episodes are split into 15 minute halves (A,B), each teaching a valuable life lesson to mold the young mind.

Some³ of the Arthur episodes that raised me:

• S2 Ep3A: “D.W., the Picky Eater”—“I hate spinach!!” - DW Arthur’s little sister DW then discovers that spinach is delicious and learns to be open minded and try new foods.

• S2 Ep8A: “Arthur vs the Piano”—On overcoming the fear of making mistakes + the importance of practice!

• S6 Ep5B: “Arthur and Los Vecinos”—A very exciting episode for my Peruvian family⁴, an Ecuadorian family moves in next door to the Reads! Their dog speaks Spanish! Guau Guau.

• S10 Ep8A: “Binky vs. Binky”—On why focusing on self-improvement in sports is more rewarding than comparing yourself to others.

• S10 Ep9B: “World Girls”—Muffy, Francine, and Sue Ellen learn of the dangers of overconsumption, (Seriously! So relevant.) when they visit the World Girls⁵ World Doll Store.

In Season 10, Episode 6B⁶: “Arthur Changes Gears”, Arthur learns a lesson relevant to stationery lovers—it is possible to be too precious about something (say, a notebook), ultimately, things are meant to be used and enjoyed.

The episode’s transcript can be read here. The entire episode can be watched on YouTube for free in Canada only here. Or you can search for “Arthur Changes Gears full episode” on Google and see what comes up…or read on for a summary!

Arthur obsessively checks his new bike for scratches in this still from Season 10, Episode 6B of PBS’ Arthur, “Arthur Changes Gears.”

Arthur Season 10, Episode 6B: “Arthur Changes Gears”

In this episode, Arthur is re-introduced by our narrator (DW) as “a boy obsessed” with saving up for his new bike: The GX Trailblazer 10,000.

After much sacrifice (no trips to the movies, or ice cream at the diner), a montage, and a hilarious daydream sequence, Arthur saves up enough of his allowance to pay⁷ for the bike. As he exits the store to test drive the GX Trailblazer 10,000, a passing truck splashes mud onto the bike, sending Arthur into frenzy as he checks his new bike for scratches. Out of an abundance of caution, Arthur walks his bike home to “protect it” from damage. Obsessed with keeping his hard-earned bike in pristine condition, he continues to find excuses to not ride it. When his friends meet up to bike at the park, Arthur arrives on foot, claiming he’s saving his new bike for a special occasion.

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A pivotal scene from “Arthur Changes Gears”

Francine: Hey! What gives? Where's the hot new wheels?

Arthur: At home. I'm saving it for a special occasion.

Francine: What's the point of having a cool bike if you never use it?

Arthur: What's the point in wrecking it after I saved all that money?

Francine: Come here, let me show you something. The mudguard is dented. I got this one when I wiped out racing to the Mighty Mountain bowling tournament. I got back up and I won.

Binky: I got a better one. I got this when I was riding with no hands and ran into a fence.

Buster: Oh, yeah? Well, I got this... Actually, my bike came like this. I think maybe it's used.

Francine: The point is, nothing says "I love you" to a bike like a few battle scars.

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Later that night, Arthur polishes his already immaculate bike and goes to bed, when he is visited (Dickensian style) by “The Ghost of Bicycles Never Ridden.” The ghost brings Arthur downstairs to the kitchen to observe his mother washing a set of already clean china. “China plates! People get these as wedding presents and they never eat off of 'em. They just wash 'em.” They then visit Mr. Crosswire’s garage, where he keeps his collectible cars. Arthur remarks he didn’t know Mr. Crosswire had a car like that, “Nobody does. He never drives it.” The ghost then brings Arthur to Prunella, who is admiring a pair of shoes she deems, “too pretty to wear. What if I scuffed them?” “Soon her feet will get bigger and she won't be able to wear them, even if she wants to,” warns the ghost. Finally, the ghost brings Arthur to a vision of his future, elder self in his childhood bedroom. “Just once, before I'm too old...I'm gonna ride this bike.” When “old Arthur” sits on the untouched, rusty, bike, it collapses into a dusty heap of parts. Arthur wakes up screaming. The next day, Arthur is carefree, splashing mud on his bike en route to meet his friends for a ride, “What's the point of having a great bike if you never ride it?” Credits Roll.

Gollum treasures an unused notebook in this homemade meme by me.

What’s the point of having a nice notebook if you’re going to leave it blank?

Who hasn’t been nervous to take a new purse out for its debut? Or had decision paralysis while placing a sticker in its permanent spot? (Sticker Anxiety plagues the journal community.) Turned your prized Le Creuset Dutch Oven into a display-only item? (Guilty) Or like Prunella, delayed wearing something “too pretty” for so long, the opportunity to wear it passed you by.

It’s my personal belief that you cannot “ruin” your own notebook by using it. Unless you drop it in a toilet or your sister Amy throws it in the fireplace, making a “mistake” in your notebook does not render your notebook unusable! You cannot “ruin” a notebook any more than you can “ruin” a pair of running shoes by getting them dirty. It is the nature of the object’s use. Bicycles are meant to be ridden, notebooks are meant to be written in. The true “waste” of an item is not in using it, but in leaving it to collect dust.

You actually don’t have to be “good” at your hobbies

In fact, I encourage having a hobby you’re “bad” at at all times. It keeps you young and spry⁸. You don’t have to graduate from Le Cordon Bleu to cook a nice dinner⁹, you don’t have to be an Olympic level athlete to enjoy running. If picking up ice skating at the ripe age of 30 years old taught me anything, it’s that falling down is part of the sport. “Messing up” is part of making art (or anything, for that matter).

My #1 comment on my journaling videos (besides “where did you get ____?”, true to form on TikTok), is something along the lines of: What if you mess up?? I would ruin my notebook with one misspelling! I would have to throw away my notebook if I messed up. I want to do this but mine would be ugly. I want to journal but I’m a perfectionist. I leave my journal blank because I am afraid of messing up. I did make a video to try and quell this fear from the inordinate amount of perfectionists in my comment section, but the defeatists (perhaps, paradoxically) persisted in the comment section of that video too.

Keeping a notebook isn’t something to be “good” or “perfect” at. You are writing down your thoughts and ideas, scrapbooking, doodling….you are not a medieval monk copying a manuscript in ink with exacting detail before the invention of the Gutenberg Press.

Perfectionism is a form of creative block, and holding yourself to the standard of making no mistakes will make it impossible to start anything. This idea can be difficult to let go of because when we buy stationery, like a new notebook, we’re buying potential. A new notebook might represent the potential to be more organized, to finally get back into painting, to start that novel you’ve been writing in your head…but when you put the notebook on a pedestal like that, the pressure on the notebook to transform your life can be too much to bear. Well I’ll let you in on a little secret: you’re the one with the potential, not the notebook! All you have to do is start.

Think of your unused notebook as a new piece of gold jewelry or a leather bag. It will start out shiny and spotless, but with constant wear, it will develop a gorgeous patina. Battle scars, scratches, age, and dents, are normal signs of a well-used, and consequently, well-loved object¹⁰. These “imperfections” are a good thing! Reframe your “mistakes” as a sign of a notebook well-loved.

My real box of unused stickers from my childhood that I asked my dad to send me a picture of.

I am the ghost of stickers unstuck

and notebooks unused. I have a box of unused stickers from my childhood at my parents’ house right now, and wouldn’t you know it, there are Arthur stickers in there (I must go retrieve them)! Tortured by the burden of finding the “perfect” place to put my stickers, my younger self left many of my stickers high and dry and alone. Last year, I found some Barbie stickers while helping my parents move (probably 2 decades old) and finally used them in my Bullet Journal’s August pages, very fulfilling. It feels good to use things!

They’ve had a long journey, but my now vintage Barbie stickers finally found their place in my 2023 journal.

Remember that every book you’ve ever read, every piece of art you’ve ever loved, started on a blank page, probably with a lot of drafts and “mistakes” along the way! Don’t be afraid of it! I leave you with this post by Mari Andrew.

bymariandrew

A post shared by @bymariandrew

1. Based on the children’s book series: Arthur Adventures by Marc Brown.

2. Arthur’s family name is “Read” after all.

3. This was a difficult list to curate, there really is an Arthur episode for everything. One of the GOATs in children’s television.

4. We were SO excited to see a familia latina in one of our favorite shows. :’)

5. The Arthur-verse’s version of the American Girl doll franchise.

6. The first half of the episode (6A), The Curse of the Grebes, features cameos from 3 Boston Red Sox players, and tackles the subject of “baseball curses,” why sticking with the underdog requires character, and healthy sports fan culture. :’) The episode aired in 2006. The Boston Red Sox won the World Series, breaking the curse, in 2007.

7. Arthur and his parents actually split the cost of the bike, so Arthur pays for half. For the sake of brevity I’m placing this detail in a footnote.

8. I actually do think picking up new hobbies and being bad at them feeds your inner child because when you’re a child - you are a beginner at life and thus bad at everything!!

9. Ratatouille - anyone can cook!

10. Is this relatable? I’m really into vintage jewelry and leather bags at the moment. I also love watching the Louise Carmen leather notebook patina videos.